LESSONS FROM MY CIVIL FAM PT1

September 20, 2012: the day i resumed uni. Over the course of the next few weeks, i would meet 8 girls who would become more than course mates to me. They became family and like most families, we would go on to have our own fair share of fights and drama.

I’ve watched this girls morph into strong women (only the strongest survive engineering) and I’ve learnt a thing or two from each of them. i won’t use real names so have fun deciphering which description fits who (even though i think the descriptions are pretty straight forward).

*The blunt one: I met her first and my first two or three impressions of her weren’t sunshine and flowers. However, barely a day after i resumed, i fell seriously ill and this almost stranger ran and did all she could to make sure i got health care.

Don’t be deceived by her cute face and smile. She can be very BLUNT. she says her mind and stands by it no matter what.

From her, I’ve learnt that sometimes sugarcoating bitter pills is just not the way and (oh did i mention she’s one of the most organised souls I’ve met!) to always show kindness. Your kind act might just save that stranger’s life.

 

*The boss lady: I also didn’t have a nice first meet with her. We laugh about it anytime we remember. She’s the one person you can always count on to totally deliver a task and organize any event. She’s kind of a perfectionist.

She’s also the one most likely to dethrone Zuckerberg from the Forbes list as she is very, very, very, ……….., very (ok you get my point) enterprising.

From her, I’ve learnt to always find the humor in any situation and she drives me to put my skills to use. (P.s: I will soon start charging you for all those letters).

* The one that’s either joking seriously or seriously joking: Her acting skills and story fabricating powers are out of this world. Her fame has spread both far and near. Oh and by acting and fabricating stories, i mean playing pranks on people. You can’t tell if you should believe her or if she’s pulling one of her numerous stunts.

But at the end of the day, she’s just a young woman who wants to make her mother proud and touch the lives of others.

From her, I’ve learnt to value the opinions of only those that really matter and how not to fall victim of her stunts.

*The potential Grammy winner: She CAN sing for Africa (intentional emphasis on can). Sometimes, it gets annoying and i think she’s just a show off but she says it’s almost like breathing to her.

She’s my human thesarus ( is pelt it wrong again *sigh*). When it comes to solving riddles and all them complex stuff she’s your guy (maybe that’s why she’s studying engineering). I really think you can win a grammy.

From her, I’ve learnt to pay attention to details, improved my vocabulary and be a friend that listens.

* The tech babe every one loves: You can’t just dislike her. She’s very lovable. She’s the studious one (the child your mother is always telling you to be), the one that knows her way around CAD software, programming, the one you can always count on to remember what the lecturer said in class, to have any note, to do any assignment and to not stab class. In fact, she’s the almost ideal student.

She’s taught me how to be a friend that doesn’t give up on the other and how not to spend all my money on food (to be honest, it is very difficult for a foodie like me).

*The mind blowing artist: Sometimes, i wonder how one person can be as talented as she is and I’ve come to the conclusion that life’s not fair. Don’t try to convince me otherwise and tell me “oh well we all get what we can handle” because i won’t listen. She’s the life of a party kind of person.

You know how motivational speakers always say follow your passion, bla, bla, bla, do what you love, well, i think that’s her mantra (even if she says otherwise).

*Oliver twist: I am second only to her in my love for food and as a fellow foodie, i am sometimes amazed when she shares her food knowing fully well the amount fulfillment and joy she derives from food.

She’s also the one who can twist anything you say (including this sentence i just wrote) and make it sound WRONG. i can’t really describe her because just when i think I’ve figured her out, she surprises me with another dimension of crazy (the good kind not the psycho type).

From her, I’ve seen practical demonstrations of compassion and what it means to care for the sick.

*The glamorous one: Anyone can slay but not anyone can be a slay queen. She can slay at any time of the day. I often ask myself (she also doesn’t understand) why after living with her for more than a year, I sometimes look like i am in need of a fashion miracle( not that i am a hopeless case o but…)

Next to the definition of generous in the dictionary, her picture should definitely be placed there.

Thanks a lot babes for having my back since 2012.

Yours Truly,

Joy

Men Of God or gods of men?

In Christ alone, my hope is found He is my light, my strength, my song….
Dear child of God,  kindly take a minute to think deeply on the lyrics of this hymn. Are you really putting your hope in the Lord Jesus or have you replaced His lordship over your life with that of His servants or anointed men of God as we call them? Do you still worship Him or that papa or mama whose every word have become yeah and amen to you?
When You go to church is it just for the miracles and prophetic declarations or to know more about our Lord Jesus and strengthen your relationship with Him? When you try to witness to others do you point them to Jesus or do you tell them to come and meet with one ‘powerful and anointed’ man of God? Do you believe more in that bottle of anointing oil or handkerchief that you can’t step out of your house without them forgetting that God has promised to give His angels charge over you? Don’t get me wrong. God can work miracles through them but when you cannot sneeze or sit down without them are you not replacing God with them?
Child of God, do you argue with fellow Christians about who belongs to the biggest ministry forgetting that we belong not to God’s servants but to God? Read 1st Corinthians 1:10-17 for better understanding.
Lest we forget and get carried away, without Christ there would be no anointed men of God, churches, miracles and most importantly Christianity.
Thank God for that man of God but I beseech you brethren by the mercies of God that you remember to give Him all the glory and not substitute Him with His emissaries.
Worship the creator and not the creation. It’s all about Jesus. Seek Him and all other things (like that miracle you’ve been running all over the place for) shall follow. #6:33.
Your co-labourer in His vineyard,
Joy.

Thanks Dad

My father’s day post is long overdue ( I don’t know why this sounds incorrect but since I am an engineering major, please let this slide). I can explain sha but that won’t reduce the price of garri or raise the naira so why bother.
So as a staunch member of team daddy’s girl, father’s day is everyday. Yup, everyday. So today, here’s a short thank you note to my dad.
Here’s a very short thank you note to the best dad ever.
Daddy, there’s a lot I wish to write but words fail me. I won’t be like some children who only see the shortcomings and forget the awesome side of their dads.
Firstly, thank you for marrying a wonderful wife. If she was terrible, I can’t imagine how messed up our lives would have been.
Thank you for never making me feel inferior as a girl. You made me realize that being a girl is no excuse for mediocrity but rather a reason to excel.Thank you for the huge sacrifices you make just so that I can have a bright future.Thank you for loving me even when I fail or fall short of your expectations.Thank you for the awesome memories you filled my life with.Thank you for teaching me God’s word even through the way you live your life.Thank you for never been too busy to be a wonderful dad and friend to me.Love you always and forever (even when I don’t act like it).
HAPPY BIRTHDAY DADDY.

Yours truly,

Joy

If you don’t take care of yourself, who will?

Don’t even say dettol because I will find you and I will stone you. I won’t but you get my point shey?
One day like that, I was going to the market and while I was chilling for the keke (maruwa) to be filled up, a boy(not up to ten years of age) approached the tricycle (you now know the English name for keke NAPEP, thank me later) and started the usual begging song. He was what people in Northern Nigeria call almajiri. (Yep, that’s my part of the country, born and breed there😄). I still don’t get why children should be brought into the world when there is no plan put in place for their upbringing.
Back to my story. I think it was the hot weather that provided an annoying ambiance(if there is anything like that) because the ish was getting very annoying. I thought I was the only one that was feeling that way until a fellow passenger who don dey vex small small told the lad in Hausa that he wouldn’t mind if he (the beggar) gave him (the passenger) some money adding that we were all trying to make ends meet.
I found it both amusing and pathetic but as stone hearted as we(the passengers) semmed, life at its best is still an individual struggle.
When we learn to take responsibility for the outcome of our lives, we sign up for greatness. Don’t mind dettol o. If you don’t make an effort to use the dettol, the germs will finish you o.

Yours truly,

Joy

Face that fear before……………………….

Until some years back I called the feeling of being scared fear. Phobia, was a new term to me and when I decided to read about it, the different phobias I read about shocked me and I was surprised because a lot of then were irrational and a thing of the mind.
It is no crime to be scared. It becomes a crime when we do nothing to get rid of the fear and choose instead to act in negative ways because of fear or phobia.  For instance, the recent wave of xenophobia in the rainbow nation -South Africa-  is a perfect example of what happens when we allow our actions to be driven negatively by fear. Xenophobia, which is the fear of people from other countries, has in the past few weeks wrecked a great deal of havoc to lives and properties.
This would have been avoided if they had learnt to face that fear and find solutions to their problems instead of blaming others for their condition.
It is no doubt very easy to seat and condemn their actions but please the next time you feel negatively driven by fear, just remember that nothing good ever came out of world war 2(except UN).
Face that fear before it makes you fall flat on your face. Its a thing of the mind. “….….As a man thinketh in his heart so is he”-Proverbs 23:7

Yours truly,

Joy

To rush or not to rush?

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One of the things I have come to know about life from my few years of sojourn on planet earth is that time flies when you don’t want it to (I.e, when you are having fun or doing some productive stuffs) but crawls when you need it to fly (I.e boring lectures and lazy wasted days).
The dual nature of time, the inevitable (according to a friend of mine), often gets me confused. Sometimes I feel compelled to move at a rate faster than hurricanes and tsunamis and other times its like chill, what’s with all the rush.
The conclusion I have come to is that there is a need to strike a balance. It is true that slow and steady wins the race but being fast and consistent will make you a world record holder literally and figuratively. If you have any doubt, feel free to ask Usain Bolt.
Do what you must within the shortest time possible. There is a whole lot more to be done and since time waits for no one, make the most of it before you get ‘slyed’ by life itself.
Once again,”time is inevitable”-Marian Emiko😄😜

Yours truly,

Joy

She’s a hero(ine)

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Mother’s Day was on Sunday but I am a firm believer in celebrating exceptional people everyday of the year and not just one day because their impacts on our lives are not just limited to a day. so here’s to all the great women out there who have proved to me at one point or the other that being a mother is something that no biology textbook can explicitly explain.

I would have sang the who sat and watched my infant head but then even as I have advanced in age your watchful eyes have remained glued to me. Sure we’ve had our not so nice moments since we are humans and different but your ability to forgive me and make up even when I’m at fault (it’s your fault sometimes sha) is one of the most effective ways the gospel gets to me even without you quoting scriptures.

I can probably talk all day about your amazing multi tasking skills(but I won’t 😜). Fulfilling your ambitions, standing and fighting with and for Daddy through the thick and thin, smoothly running the house, being a wonderful daughter to your own parents, not neglecting your civic  responsibilities and still finding time to belong to the league of ordinary extraordinary supermoms who carry out the hardest job in the world-raising upright world changers-are some of the numerous things that make me forever indebted to God for your life.

For the love,prayers, flogging, laughter, FOOD, time, clothes, shoes, prayers, advice, smiles and the all the plenty resources you have filled my life with thank you mummy or as we say in our dialect Eya, ma pem. I love you always and forever.

Yours truly,

Joy

21st Century Slavery

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I initially submitted this article as an assignment but I think it’s something you should read so here it is. Happy reading😃

Twenty first century slavery
When the word slavery is mentioned, the first thing that easily comes to mind is the picture of men and women in shackles forced to work on plantations far from their homes. However, this seven letter word has a much deeper meaning to it and the abolishment of slave trade was just a victory over the physical side of the problem.
The Meriam-Webster dictionary defines slavery as submission to a dominating force. The word is also synonymous with bondage, servitude and yoke. For the sake of this article, the words slave and slavery as used in this context do not refer to anything insulting.
Since the existence of man, everyone has submitted their lives to one dominating force or the other, some fully aware and others not really knowing what they were doing. For some, they have dedicated their lives to fighting for world peace, helping the needy and a host of other noble causes. Some however are slaves to drugs, money, other people, the internet, religious dogma and an almost unending list of bizarre vices and addictions.
The first category of slaves has brought positive changes to their world and will forever be celebrated even after they are no more. The likes of Mahatma Gandhi, Kwame Nkrumah, Nelson Mandela, Martin Luther King (jnr) and others too numerous to mention dedicated their lives to fighting for the equality and rights of their people. They were so sold out to the cause that they didn’t mind the struggle, imprisonment and the other prices they had to pay.
Charity slaves like mother Theresa cannot be ignored as she gave her life to serving the isolated lepers of Calcutta. The list of such great men and women is almost unending and even though some of them are never recognized, humanity will forever grateful to God for the lives of these wonderful people.
The latter category of slavery is more prevalent now than it has ever been in the history of mankind. A lot of people are controlled by their monstrous love for money that they are willing to go any length to get it and accumulate it for even generations unborn. The high rise of money slaves has fueled a skyrocketing increase in corruption, crime rate and ironically, poverty. Man’s greed has made him deaf to his conscience and blind to the existence of others.
Terrorism has now become a global heartache because of the believes of ‘religious’ slaves. These set of humans are so sold out to these doctrines that they are willing to kill (and even get killed) in the process of making everyone see things from their perspective forgetting that variety is the spice of life. Not pointing accusing fingers, any religious doctrine that justifies (or encourages) the murder and exploitation of people should be highly condemned and discarded.
Even the internet has become a major dominating influence in the lives of 21st century people. While the internet has made life a lot easier, it has really ruined the lives of social media slaves. One cannot begin to imagine what people are willing to do to gain popularity on these sites. As earlier mentioned, fashion and drugs are also slave masters in this dispensation. The effects of these things are really beginning to tell on the human race.
So, are we as free as we think or are we slaves bound in mental and emotional shackles to a good or bad cause?

Beyond sentiments

It’s no longer news that come 28th of March, 2015, my fellow countrymen and women shall queue up under the hot sun and the extreme harmattan weather to decide who has a say in the affairs of the nation. As ironic as it sounds, after that day the balance of power shifts and once again the people become powerless and have to wait another four years before they have that chance. At least they now have a once-in-four-years chance unlike some decades back when we could wake up anytime to a radio announcement about a change in power.
It is no doubt a very tense time for the nation. Campaign buses are being burnt, houses are being attacked and it’s not even Election Day sef. Sha, the long story short. We all know who we want. Why do we want them? Is it because the person shares the same religious faith with us or because we speak the same dialect or because we come from the same geopolitical zone?
Seriously, we need to stop attaching much importance to little and petty things like tribe and religion. Lest we forget, these are some of the things that have brought us to where we are. Instead of chanting bants like,”he’s my brother” and all them sentimental ish, we should look at the person’s competence. Does he or she or them have what it takes to bring the nation out of her current state?
If we cannot use our common sense that God has given us to do the right thing then we should not expect God to come down from heaven and perform a miracle we should have long sorted out. After all, Faith that makes God totally responsible is nothing but gross irresponsibility.

Yours truly, joy